Diary of A Happy Single Brown Woman

There are a few statements that I have gotten used to saying throughout my life time:

"Yes, we're twins."
"No, I'm not Jessica. I'm Jennifer."
"No, social workers do not just take babies from homes."
"I am a Seventh-Day Adventist. We're like Jews but not really."
"Just because I'm a vegetarian, doesn't mean all I eat are carrots and apples."

"No, I'm not married. Yes, I'm single...and yes I am happy about that. Like really, I am!"

It is a common assumption to make about a 20 something year old female that she is married. If not married, engaged. If not engaged, in a relationship. Very common indeed. When I was younger, I used to think that by college graduation day, I would have a ring on my left hand and a diploma in my right. Planning my wedding the same time as planning my next professional step after college. BOY am I glad things didn't go my way!

Let me elaborate:

Selflessness- HUGE factor in making a relationship happy and functional. Like straight up. In relationships, you find yourself thinking about the other person. What do they like? Don't like? Does he like my hair better up or down? This certain trait of mine bugs him a little bit, I should change that. Christmas is coming up, I should get them something nice. What are THEIR feelings? What makes THEM happy? Where do THEY see themselves living in 3 years? I love Thai food, but he hates it. Welp, guess we cant go there for dinner. Greattttt.

Nothing wrong with selflessness. It's a humbling trait that our heavenly Father encourages us to practice DAILY and to even better our walk with Him. Selflessness (in relationship terms) is a beautiful thing. Putting the needs of the person you love in front of your own is absolutely wonderful.

But what if I don't want to be selfless? I am at a point in my life where I have the liberty to think about myself and only myself. My goals, my career, my dreams, where I would like to eventually end up or be in one year from now, learning new things that I can eventually apply when I  do become a wife,  I want to travel, travel, me, me, me. I'm too selfish right now to think of anybody else. I am very content being in a state where I can just think about my needs and my wants and not feel bad about it. When I am in a relationship, I put 1000% and if I get into one in this mindeset, disaster will happen. NOTE: It is important to be willing to be selfless when coming into a relationship. If you're not willing.... not gonna work. I guarantee it.

But, I don't have the energy nor the desire to do that quite yet. There's nothing wrong with that.... right?

So there you go, world. Don't feel sorry for me. To answer your question. I am single and very happy... and yes! That's possible! I promise! This is my time and I am confident to say that the Lord will send me someone in HIS timing and at a time when HE knows I will be willing and ready to be in a state of selflessness which I'm hoping will NOT BE ANY TIME SOON.

Until then, I'll be the girl goin on dates, picking up and leaving town whenever I feel the need, possibly planning on moving to Canada if I want to.... single and feeling blessed :)

Life Lessons at 24

Life is ridiculous. I am already almost 24. Say what? When did this even happen?

As I am getting ready to turn the big 2-4 (March 28), I have come to realize that there are many things that I have learned in my life thus far. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm still young and there are still so many more things to learn in my coming future. But, I believe that there are situations in life that are solely placed there to teach you a lesson or two. So I do learn... because I should. What is the point of going through your daily life if you don't take a lesson out of it, right?

 

These are a few things that I have learned in the last 24 years:

1. In a relationship, when you find yourself frequently asking yourself, "Is there someone out there BETTER for me?"... then there is.
2. Volunteer. It's good for the soul.
3. Ask for advice from people you trust. Most importantly, listen to that advice.
4. Lay everything at the feet of the Lord. If you do, great things will happen. Why wouldn't you?
5. Go on dates. It's healthy. You learn more about yourself and you know more about qualities you like and don't like in someone. Plus, ladies- free food. Holla. Exception: 1. Unless one person is absolutely sure that they don't want it to go anywhere, let the other person know, and rethink going on the next date. 2.You’re not ready.
6. EXERCISE. You become an overall better person inside and out.
7. When you appreciate something from someone, say it OUT LOUD to them. It's easy to forget.
8. Guard your heart. Guard your heart. Guard your heart.
9. Stay active.
10. "Equally yolked." YES. The Bible knows what it's talkin about.
11. Becoming a vegetarian is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life. I don’t get sick as often, lost weight, and I straight up feel better about myself. My body is the temple and I love animals way too much. Why would I eat them? Just doesn’t make sense….
12. In a relationship, when you frequently find yourself saying, "It should NOT be this difficult.".... maybe it shouldn't. 
13. In many cases, the delivery, not the message, can make or break any situation.
14. Surround yourself with happy and functional marriages. You may learn a thing or two.
15. Growing up is a lot easier with a support system.
16. In a relationship, do not conform to whatever you think the other person wants or needs, don't change who you actually are for them, and don't compromise any of your beliefs to please them. Good change and compromise is good, but don't lose yourself in the process.
17. DOGS MAKE LIFE HAPPIER.
18. If you find yourself constantly defending your relationship to others, sit down and think about WHY you have to defend it in the first place. It may be time to evaluate this relationship that you just HAVE to be in.
19. Life is simply better with good people in your life. The people that you surround yourself with should positively influence you and you should do the same for them. The better the people, the better your life (1 Cor 15:33 supports this).
20. Order a water instead of a soda!
21. A break up is a good opportunity to learn about yourself and life.
22. If "he's just not that into you", THAT DOESN'T MAKE HIM A BAD GUY (Unless he doesn't go about #13 very well).
23. Mushrooms are gross. And hey, they're not even that good for you. 
24. Single people, we are all wives and husbands-in-training. We should be doing our part right now in being the absolute best spouse we can be for them even though we haven't met them yet. They will thank us.
25. Love yourself before you love someone else.
26. STICK TO YOUR PRINCIPALS (can get more difficult sometimes when #16 takes place. If it does get difficult, time to re-evaulate either your principals or the relationship).
27. A guy and a girl CAN be JUST friends.
28. Sundried tomatoes make just about anything taste better.
29. Women who exercise like to date men who exercise.
30. Men who exercise like to date women who exercise.
31. Life makes more sense with Jesus in it. Period.

I am looking forward to seeing what other lessons life throws at me for the next few decades. Until then, I will abide by these little life lessons of my own. :)

PS. If I am completely wrong about any of these, share your thoughts with me! I am always eager to learn!

"If you need to contact me, here's my card...."

There have been two pieces of paper that have shown my biggest accomplishments up to this point in my life: College diploma and....

                                                              
                                                          My very first business card :)

                                                           


Give me a call if I can be of any assistance to you and your foster child :)

New Changes.... New Job!

These are a few things that make me Jenn if you don't already know me very well:

• Vegetarian
• Loves chasing lizards
• Athlete
• Christian and God-fearing woman
• Clutsy
• Horrible singer
• Worry bug
• Messy eater

And now I can say:

Internal Case Manager.... that's right, I got a job in my field of social work. What up!

For those of you who have asked me about this for the past month about my new job, how I found it, and how it's been goin so far, this is for you. Thanks for caring! :)

It all started back in December when I attended a community outreach event for the holidays that Starbucks was helping put together for the foster families in the Las Vegas community. My sister is an employer for Starbucks so they asked me to come out since they know I love stuff like this. So I did. And it was great. I met a ton of really sweet kids along with their case managers. I wanted to somehow slip in,"UM, CAN YOU GIVE ME A JOB? I want to do what you do. THANKS." But decided that there was a time and a place to "sell yourself" to an agency and Christmas time at an event for the kiddos was not it. I DID manage to spark up a conversation with one of them and slipped in there that I had a degree in social work and was looking. But that's it, no further details. Few weeks later, one of those case managers walks into Starbucks, asks for my sister, and says that he remembers me and was wondering if I was looking for a job because they had an opening and they had all remembered me. My sister freaked out of excitement, gave him my info, told me, I freaked out of excitement, prayed for a miracle, and before I know it, I am finishing up an interview and shaking my supervisor's hand saying "Yes I will gladly accept this position!"

Isnt' God hilarious? I must've done something right to deserve this from Him. What a dad.

I work for Eagle Quest which is a non-profit agency that provides services for foster families in the community. I am assigned 5 foster families with a max of 20 kids in my caseload. What my job entails is to make sure that the homes that these awesome-yet-troubled-and-unstable-kids were assigned to are good fit homes for them. The foster parents, kids, and I are in constant contact making sure that things in the home are running smoothly. Sadly, things don't always run smoothly: Kids and parents do not always get along, kids act up, and this is when I also have to intervene and make sure that there are changes that are being made in the home... or start looking for a new one. I make frequent home visits, ton of paperwork, meetings, TON OF PAPERWORK, represent the families in court every few months to discuss the status of family to the court, and did I say a ton of paperwork?

I have a cubicle, business card, and a work phone... and my own plant! So grown up!

The Lord has been blessing me and that is something that cannot go unnoticed. Life is great right now and I am absolutely loving my job. The Lord knew that I was looking to work with families, and He made it happen. The people have been so great and helpful, positive enviornment, and it's what I went to school for! Thank you all for the questions and interest in my new job and the changes that have been comin about. I guess now the Lord needs me in Vegas for longer than I had hoped. Oh well.

 Put faith in God, and He'll do some really sweet things for you. He did for me.

Super Busy. Super Thankful.

My oh my have I been busy.

If you know me, you know that I love to stay busy and productive. And indeed I have been doing that for quite sometime now.

I am keeping busy with work- working full hours and exhausted at the end of the day. My days off, I intern at a family agency learning new techniques of the welfare system and having fun. I have also recently been given the opportunity to use my talent of planning.... stuff. At church, I have been asked to be on the nominating committee. I have also been asked to coordinate a Christmas program at my church, as well as lead out in classes for the young adult. I still tutor when I can and also manage time to stay active and keep in shape.

I am loving new opportunities and new ways to put time in things that matter and I love that I am feeling  useful! Lately, I have been having this sense of fulfillment with were my life is at the moment. I have been finding out more and more about myself each and everyday and that is something I have been enjoying very much. I feel as though the Lord is preparing me for something that is going to happen soon and I have no idea what it is.... but Im excited. I believe that I am where I need to be..... but for how long? Im not sure. In the midst of all of this, I still wonder, where am I going? Where should I be next? What have I not found out about myself that I havent already?

Notice how all of those questions begin with the word "I"? That's because that is all who I am thinking about at the moment. That is all I have been thinking about for the past year and because of that, I have learned to really focus on my needs and what is important to me. You know how amazing that is? Just a thought.

Life is great. Life is busy. Life is happening. I am excited to see how the Lord can use me in as many ways as He can while I am still around Vegas and I hope He doesn't stop there. I am thankful for Him and his ability guide me in the direction that only HE knows is best for me. During this Thanksgiving season, I would like to thank Him for that. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and let's keep in mind the good things that are happening in our lives. :) Until next time...

Cheers.

I'm listening....

So I talked with family.

Some changes will be taking place soon.

So great to have insight from some people I trust the most.

Keepin busy....

Life has been workin out pretty great for me. For those of you who know me, know that I like to keep busy... good thing? bad thing? Not sure, but it's who I am.

Work has been great. I work as a front desk receptionist for an Orthopedic Surgeon's office and it has been pretty fun. Learning a lot and loving the busy-ness of it all. On my days off, I volunteer at a family agency along with other social workers and learning more about the system and how low income families and individuals seek assistance such as medicaid, welfare, food stamps, etc. I've been learning a lot and everyone there has been so helpful. I am tutoring kids from church a couple times a week which has been great because I get to brush up on my algebra and English grammar rules (which I can't complain about!). I also do my best to stay fit and active and finding time to work out when I find a chance. I also work at a farmer's market/pumpkin patch for 8 hours on Sundays in the sun which has been a lot of fun, but tiring. But hey, we sell donuts and cider so what up!

What can I say, God has been blessing for sure. However, daily, I ask myself (and God), am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Am I where I need to be? Am I making the best decisions in life right now? SHOULD I be in Vegas? Where am I going to be in 6 months? 8 months? 1 year from now? I am here living at home, working in a field I didn't get a degree in to save up money until I figure out what to do as my next step and can start my actual career as a Social Worker elsewhere.

Because I'm human, asking these questions to myself absolutely freak me out. Where my mind is at right now is working, but having fun. I want to travel, see the world, but I have work the next day at 7 am and have bills to pay! Along with those unwlecomed and dreaded school loans I need to start paying. Freakin a.

All in all, I am a happy woman right now. I just need to know that I am where the Lord wants me and needs me to be. How do I know for sure? I don't yet. But I'm listening and I'm keeping Him involved in my plans. He is molding my plans into what He knows is best for me, and I must say that that thought helps me sleep at night.

That is my life update. Busy, questioning, but happy.You know how I do.