funny observation about relationships.

My co workers and I were talking about relationships at work this morning and I had a thought....

When you're in a relationship, your behavior, mood, and even happiness can all depend on the other person in the relationship. It's sad but lets face it, it's true. It's almost as if your mentality and mood is all in their hands. They have more control over your emotions than they are aware of... but it's not a bad thing!!

Right? Think about it....


If you and your boo just got in a fight, your day is shot. You're moody, emotional, have the random need to go on a run to de-stress, happy couples make you sick (admit it), you find yourself irritable about the most insignificant things, appetite is altered, "What's wrong? You look sad." "Joe and I just got in a fight...."

If you and your boo are on cloud 9, love songs make sense to you now, you have a new appreciation for the little things in life, you are now eager to change the world in some significant way, you find yourself eager to give a dollar to the homeless person on the side of the road, you're happy, you laugh more, you want to dress and look better, you are inspired to write a song, you think of baby girl names to match his last name, etc.

Nothing is wrong with the fact that your relationship can affect your daily life as much as it does. It is what it is and that's just how it goes. A relationship is such a significant part of your life as it should be. You are sharing something with someone that you truly care about and they about you. How can that not affect your emotions and perspective on life? It's crazy..... and beautiful..... and scary all at the same time.

Just thought it was an interesting observation since I myself have found myself feeling those ways when I was in my few relationships. Interesting, eh?

Diary of A Happy Single Brown Woman

There are a few statements that I have gotten used to saying throughout my life time:

"Yes, we're twins."
"No, I'm not Jessica. I'm Jennifer."
"No, social workers do not just take babies from homes."
"I am a Seventh-Day Adventist. We're like Jews but not really."
"Just because I'm a vegetarian, doesn't mean all I eat are carrots and apples."

"No, I'm not married. Yes, I'm single...and yes I am happy about that. Like really, I am!"

It is a common assumption to make about a 20 something year old female that she is married. If not married, engaged. If not engaged, in a relationship. Very common indeed. When I was younger, I used to think that by college graduation day, I would have a ring on my left hand and a diploma in my right. Planning my wedding the same time as planning my next professional step after college. BOY am I glad things didn't go my way!

Let me elaborate:

Selflessness- HUGE factor in making a relationship happy and functional. Like straight up. In relationships, you find yourself thinking about the other person. What do they like? Don't like? Does he like my hair better up or down? This certain trait of mine bugs him a little bit, I should change that. Christmas is coming up, I should get them something nice. What are THEIR feelings? What makes THEM happy? Where do THEY see themselves living in 3 years? I love Thai food, but he hates it. Welp, guess we cant go there for dinner. Greattttt.

Nothing wrong with selflessness. It's a humbling trait that our heavenly Father encourages us to practice DAILY and to even better our walk with Him. Selflessness (in relationship terms) is a beautiful thing. Putting the needs of the person you love in front of your own is absolutely wonderful.

But what if I don't want to be selfless? I am at a point in my life where I have the liberty to think about myself and only myself. My goals, my career, my dreams, where I would like to eventually end up or be in one year from now, learning new things that I can eventually apply when I  do become a wife,  I want to travel, travel, me, me, me. I'm too selfish right now to think of anybody else. I am very content being in a state where I can just think about my needs and my wants and not feel bad about it. When I am in a relationship, I put 1000% and if I get into one in this mindeset, disaster will happen. NOTE: It is important to be willing to be selfless when coming into a relationship. If you're not willing.... not gonna work. I guarantee it.

But, I don't have the energy nor the desire to do that quite yet. There's nothing wrong with that.... right?

So there you go, world. Don't feel sorry for me. To answer your question. I am single and very happy... and yes! That's possible! I promise! This is my time and I am confident to say that the Lord will send me someone in HIS timing and at a time when HE knows I will be willing and ready to be in a state of selflessness which I'm hoping will NOT BE ANY TIME SOON.

Until then, I'll be the girl goin on dates, picking up and leaving town whenever I feel the need, possibly planning on moving to Canada if I want to.... single and feeling blessed :)

Life Lessons at 24

Life is ridiculous. I am already almost 24. Say what? When did this even happen?

As I am getting ready to turn the big 2-4 (March 28), I have come to realize that there are many things that I have learned in my life thus far. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm still young and there are still so many more things to learn in my coming future. But, I believe that there are situations in life that are solely placed there to teach you a lesson or two. So I do learn... because I should. What is the point of going through your daily life if you don't take a lesson out of it, right?

 

These are a few things that I have learned in the last 24 years:

1. In a relationship, when you find yourself frequently asking yourself, "Is there someone out there BETTER for me?"... then there is.
2. Volunteer. It's good for the soul.
3. Ask for advice from people you trust. Most importantly, listen to that advice.
4. Lay everything at the feet of the Lord. If you do, great things will happen. Why wouldn't you?
5. Go on dates. It's healthy. You learn more about yourself and you know more about qualities you like and don't like in someone. Plus, ladies- free food. Holla. Exception: 1. Unless one person is absolutely sure that they don't want it to go anywhere, let the other person know, and rethink going on the next date. 2.You’re not ready.
6. EXERCISE. You become an overall better person inside and out.
7. When you appreciate something from someone, say it OUT LOUD to them. It's easy to forget.
8. Guard your heart. Guard your heart. Guard your heart.
9. Stay active.
10. "Equally yolked." YES. The Bible knows what it's talkin about.
11. Becoming a vegetarian is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life. I don’t get sick as often, lost weight, and I straight up feel better about myself. My body is the temple and I love animals way too much. Why would I eat them? Just doesn’t make sense….
12. In a relationship, when you frequently find yourself saying, "It should NOT be this difficult.".... maybe it shouldn't. 
13. In many cases, the delivery, not the message, can make or break any situation.
14. Surround yourself with happy and functional marriages. You may learn a thing or two.
15. Growing up is a lot easier with a support system.
16. In a relationship, do not conform to whatever you think the other person wants or needs, don't change who you actually are for them, and don't compromise any of your beliefs to please them. Good change and compromise is good, but don't lose yourself in the process.
17. DOGS MAKE LIFE HAPPIER.
18. If you find yourself constantly defending your relationship to others, sit down and think about WHY you have to defend it in the first place. It may be time to evaluate this relationship that you just HAVE to be in.
19. Life is simply better with good people in your life. The people that you surround yourself with should positively influence you and you should do the same for them. The better the people, the better your life (1 Cor 15:33 supports this).
20. Order a water instead of a soda!
21. A break up is a good opportunity to learn about yourself and life.
22. If "he's just not that into you", THAT DOESN'T MAKE HIM A BAD GUY (Unless he doesn't go about #13 very well).
23. Mushrooms are gross. And hey, they're not even that good for you. 
24. Single people, we are all wives and husbands-in-training. We should be doing our part right now in being the absolute best spouse we can be for them even though we haven't met them yet. They will thank us.
25. Love yourself before you love someone else.
26. STICK TO YOUR PRINCIPALS (can get more difficult sometimes when #16 takes place. If it does get difficult, time to re-evaulate either your principals or the relationship).
27. A guy and a girl CAN be JUST friends.
28. Sundried tomatoes make just about anything taste better.
29. Women who exercise like to date men who exercise.
30. Men who exercise like to date women who exercise.
31. Life makes more sense with Jesus in it. Period.

I am looking forward to seeing what other lessons life throws at me for the next few decades. Until then, I will abide by these little life lessons of my own. :)

PS. If I am completely wrong about any of these, share your thoughts with me! I am always eager to learn!

"If you need to contact me, here's my card...."

There have been two pieces of paper that have shown my biggest accomplishments up to this point in my life: College diploma and....

                                                              
                                                          My very first business card :)

                                                           


Give me a call if I can be of any assistance to you and your foster child :)