So it's obviously been a while since I have written in my blog. For those that have read it in the past, thank you! And the reason why I have been neglecting my blogging duties is because I've been busy dating this guy, then we got engaged, and now we're married. So yeah, I'm back.
The last year has been quite an adventure with being married and sharing a life with someone. There has been some adjustment, compromising, learning to laugh off the dumb stuff, and a whole lot of kisses. So with that, this post is focused on some of the lessons I have learned in my first year of marriage! I am well aware that I am not a marriage guru and my marriage resume is slim, but I've sure learned a lot. If you are a newlywed, let me know if you have similar lessons!
1. You gain weight... and it's okay:
So yes, I'll be the first to admit that I have gained about 7 lbs. since the day we said, "I do." I had a really hard time coming to terms with this but in all honesty, it makes sense. I now cook for two people instead of making smoothies and sandwiches for one so there is more food in our kitchen. That combined with some nights, we would rather cuddle on the couch and watch Food Network instead working out for an hour. Let's be real here. (Oh yeah, and birth control)
So yes, I interpret weight gain as the result of a happy marriage. :)
2. Humble Yo-self:
I didn't realize how flawed I was until I got married. Heck, when I was single, I was walking around thinking I was right about everything and thought I did not need to be called out on any of my short fallings- because, I mean, I didn't have any. But I have officially gotten used to using the phrase, "Honey. I'm sorry. I was wrong." YOWZA is that hard to learn. So another lesson I have learned- I DON'T have it all together, I'm more stubborn than I thought and my logic on things sometimes is way off. Thankfully, I have a loving and compassionate husband that humbles me, but does it with grace and understanding.
3. Still date each other:
We were definitely advised a lot by married couples that it is important to still go on dates with your boo, even after being married. Dressing up, leaving the house, and planning a nice dinner or dessert or movie out in the town is definitely something fun to look forward to when our everyday lives of work and school become predictable. We also have learned to budget so we are aware that we can't drop dimes just on a date, so we keep it simple most nights and keep it affordable... but romantic :) Oh yeah.... and no cell phone or social media during date night! (note: I have posted things about "date night" on social media but that's after our date)
4. Don't isolate- maintain positive friendships other than with your spouse:
GIRLS NIGHT!!!!... or guys night. Jacob and I have made sure to be intentional about spending time with friends apart from each other. Jacob and I have noticed that it's vital to keep our friendships around close to us. Just because we get married, does not mean that all of our friendships get thrown out the window. My girls were there before Jacob came along and when Jacob and I developed our relationship, my girlfriends were there rooting us on and encouraging us every step of the way. The same goes for Jacob and his guy friends. If we get married and decide to isolate ourselves and neglect those friendships, where is the balance? We make sure that about once a month (or more), we spend time apart with our friends to have an ongoing friendship with them and boy has that been refreshing! We all need our guys night or girls night.
5. Pray and read devotionals together:
When we did our vows, we vowed that we would keep Christ centered in our marriage and our home. What does that mean? That means that we seek a relationship with God separately as well as together. When we have decisions to make, conflicts to solve, and just anything in general, we pray and seek for guidance.And just like that, Christ is in the center. So far, this lesson has worked and we know it will get us through a lot in the future.
6. Don't always assume you know the needs of your boo:
I feel like this is pretty self explanatory. Just because you like to be hugged when you are stressed out or upset, doesn't mean your wife/husband goes about it the same way. If you like to be left alone when upset about something, don't assume your wife/husband goes about it the same way. Learn each other's needs by talking and not assuming. It's a learning process.
7. Sometimes, it's the delivery- not the message:
"Why can't you ever just put the dishes in the dishwasher?!"
or
"Honey, next time, do you mind please putting the dishes in the dishwasher? It would really help me a lot. Thanks, boo"
Enough said.
Those are just a FEW lessons I have learned in my first year of marriage. Looking forward to continue learning lessons, making mistakes, and growing together.
Now let's kick year #2 in the face.
