Feeling Like Jenn Again... Finally.

Another life lesson I have learned:

During my first year out of college, I have done a lot of growing, discovering, and questioning. I have learned that it is quite common for twenty or thirty-something-year olds to experience a sense of disconnection from themselves after college. It's scary. What's also scary is that I was becoming one of those people.

I have always been self-assured of who I am but there was a time there, during my transition from college student to full-time-working woman, where I was starting to forget who I actually was. I was losing myself. I found myself getting stuck in a rut and not doing what made me happy (which are sports, Jesus, and service). During a small amount of time after college, I was feeling disconnected from myself and wondering why I wasn't doing what made me happy.

I sat down and asked myself these questions:

• "What makes me happy?"
• "What makes me Jenn?"
• "Am I doing them?"
• "If not, why not?"

Asking myself these questions was life changing. I then came to realize something very important: This sense of disconnection from myself led me to the conclusion that when you feel a disconnection from yourself, scary things begin to happen. I believe that when you start to lose a connection to yourself, less things in the world make sense, confusion can lead to unhappiness, and your disconnection then can lead to a disconnection with Jesus.

It is a scary thing thing when you begin to forget who you are, lose yourself, and stop doing the things that make you happy. When you start to feel that sense of disconnection from yourself, how are you able to understand what God is doing in your life? You begin to expect the wrong things from Christ and get frustrated with Him when nothing in your life makes sense. What you SHOULD be doing instead is sitting down, ask yourself those questions mentioned earlier, CONNECT WITH YOURSELF, and get to know yourself all over again.

• Reconnecting with yourself can lead to a reconnection with Jesus.
• Reconnection with Jesus can lead to life making more sense and you having a clearer picture of what your purpose is on this earth.
• You being able to identify your purpose can lead to happiness.

 Today, I am happy to say that I am doing what gives me a sense of fulfillment and am feeling like Jenn again... finally.  Because of this refreshing sense of reconnection with myself, I feel like it has only strengthened my walk with Christ and that is a feeling that can't be beat.

My friends, we need to be in constant connection with ourselves. It is so easy to forget who we are and what we stand for when life is happening. We are each made and tailored into our own person and we need to be doing what keeps us connected with ourselves and what makes us happy. I'm sure that I will find myself disconnected again at some point, but now I know what to do when that happens again.

 Who are you? What makes you YOU? Are you happy? Are you doing what makes you happy?

When we are happy and connected with ourselves, everything in life makes more sense.

Just a simple life lesson I've learned :)

Jesus= The Best Probation Officer Ever

My job has taught me humility and patience in so many ways.

For those of you who do not know what I actually do, I am a case manager for foster children here in Las Vegas. These children are "high treatment level" children which means they need a lot of help. I have about 14 kids on my caseload and each and every child has a past that no child should ever have. Because of their past, they are accustomed to making bad decisions and relying on their own understanding on how to go about their every day life. Because of this, I have been able to see and get to know Jesus in a very different but sweet light.

Let me explain.

All of the kids in my case load are teenage boys. About 90% of them are probation kids which means they are being watched like a hawk by their parole officers and any "bad" move they make while they are in our custody means either juvenile, consequence, detention, or not being able to see their families. This week, I sat down with three of my teenage boys on three seperate occasions and had to talk to them about the importance of making good decisions and making positive peer relations at school and in the home because they were either suspended, expelled, or caught with drugs. I told them, "Good choices bring good results. Bad choices bring bad results." To many of us, this is common sense. To these boys, making good decisions is not an option for them. Because of how their minds work and what they are used to and have seen during their entire lives, making bad decisions is what they are used to. It's what they know. It's all they know.

After talking with one of my teen boys, we had a break through. He was able to tell me what his goals were and told me, "Miss Jenn, I am going to change. I want to go home and live back with my mom and if I need to follow directions to do that, I will do it. Thank you, Jenn. I wont let you down." I went home that day feeling great and said a prayer for him that from here on out, he will stay on track and make good decisions. Until the next day, I get a call saying that he was suspended from school. Greatttttt.

How many times have we had this very same conversation with our own wonderful and merciful heavenly Father? Because of this sinful world and our sinful nature, we are bound to make decisions that sadden Him or make Him disappointed. We make these decisions and go forward with our desired yet sinful actions because that is how we are built. It is what we know. We have an occasional heart-to-heart conversation with Him telling Him that we want to change. Then before we know it, we give in to our sin again.

I have learned in this field that I cannot take things personally. I need to remind myself that if my boys make decisions that will eventually send them back to juvenile or detention or even runaway and I never hear from them again, I need to realize that I have done my part in preventing that from happening and I can't hold on to the idea that "I should've done more." It's humbling.... and exhausting.

This job is reminding me daily that we have a Savior, that no matter how many times we screw up, let Him down, offend Him, offend others or fall short, He still loves us... unconditionally. He won't send us to detention, jail, or take away the good things in our life. He forgives, accepts, and if we let Him, He comes inside of us and changes us in ways that will make us more like Him and less like us. How RAD IS THAT?

I am so in love with my Jesus everyday when I am reminded of how I can be like my own kids-- lost, confused, and unsure of how to survive in this world. But, I have the promise that Christ will take me back and only shower me with His grace.... every stinkin day. Who does that?!

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakeness." 2 Corinthians 12:19

We need to wake up and thank Him for this because My GOD is one patient God to forgive us every single time we screw up. We can't take this for grantide! So amazing.