But Mom, I Don't Want to Grow Up....

I popped my head off my pillow this morning half hour earlier than I had to wake up because it hit me... it's almost MAY! Which means, it's almost the month before I graduate! I have not done anything!!!

I have my resume completed. This is the piece of paper that I am going to be giving agencies telling them, "Hi. This is a sheet of paper that tells you exactly why you should hire me and why I am awesome. Please take a chance on me." Because of this, I feel that my resume still needs some fixing up to do- considering this will be the only thing that will inform the given individual (of who may potentially be my boss someday) about who I am and why I am qualified. For this reason, I have not been able to take that leap of faith and send in my resume to some sweet job opprutunites that I have my eye on. Maybe I need to get over myself and send it anyway...

Another thing- I have decided that I would like to start looking for jobs in Oregon and Colorado. These are two states that I have never visited but I feel like I know enough about these places to know that they will fit my personality and interests quite well. I have looked for jobs in these two states and it seems as though they are both looking for Social Workers. Well that's great, isn't it? Except, the other part of my brain is asking, "Jenn, do you really want to move away to a state where you have no family or friends? Are you really ready to pick up and live somewhere new? And on your own?"

I want to go somewhere new. Start a new life and have a fresh new start. However, I feel as though I do not have enough resources (experience, independence, and MONEY) to do so. How do people go about a situation like this? I understand that there is always the option of going back home. I have a wonderful home to go back to with loving parents, sister, and dogs. However, I do not have the desire to move back. Is it a pride thing? I'm not sure. I am eager to start a life of my own, meet new people, make a new network, and finally gain work experience in a field that I enjoy very much.

Problem: I am terrified.

I know how to do school because that is what my life has consisted of for the past 18 years. Changing direction annd transitioning to something completely different is excitingly scary. Apart of me is waiting for my wonderful and merciful Lord to place oppurtunites on my lap and make things easy for me. But, if my God made things easy for me, let's face it, when would my faith be tested? Pretty sure that's not how it works...

I am beginning to feel overwhelmed because not only are these thoughts filling my mind throughout the day, but I am also wrapped up in hours of class a day, 8 hour day internship, work, extra cirricular activites, and making sure I am actually passing my classes so I can graduate. I understand that millions of young people in my position are experiencing exactly what I am right about now. I understand that I need to get over myself and come up with a game plan. I think I know what I should do now. I will be working on finalizing my resume and start sending a few out this weekend. That's right. THIS WEEKEND. Once I start to send a few out and start the application process and praying to my sweet Jesus at the same time, I am hoping that I will be able to get a better clue on what this "growing up" gig is all about.

So for now:
Resume sending, applying, and praying...let the fun begin!